How To Put in Vampire Fangs

So you want to be a vampire for Halloween but you're just not sure how to go about wearing proper looking fangs? Boy have YOU come to the right place! Brittany has what some call an "unhealthy" preoccupation with those rascally, night fiends and has dressed up like a vampire so many times (sometimes, even for Halloween) that she's waiting any night now to be made an honorary vampire. In order to pull off a cool and convincing costume, you have to have the right teeth, there are just no two ways about it!

With this you have, as in everything Halloween, several different choices. The first is to go out, find a vampire, and have him turn you into one of his own kind. If you're just not that dedicated, are a wuss, or indeed concerned with your mortal soul, there are other ways to have cool fangs.

Your first option are the clearish/white fangs that fasten over the top and bottom rows of your teeth. They also come in a green glow-in-the-dark variety and you can get a bag of ten or so for less than a dollar. But if you're over the age of three, you might as well disregard this option because they won't fit your mouth. Moving on!

Next, and a definite step up in the realism department, are the fangs that "look" real. They're usually included in a set of vampire make-up and fake blood; I've never seen them packaged alone. They go over your top gum and are a rubbery plastic. They also are very uncomfortable, fit poorly, are hard to talk with, and never, EVER look as good as they show on the package.

All you have to do with the these first two options are put them in your mouth.

Finally, you have the option of using fangs that, from a distance, actually look like real fangs! These are two little hard plastic fangs that you insert over your right and left incisors using a sticky substance that comes with them. Clearly these are your best option and I 100% recommend them. BUT, they do take a little work.

• First, read all the directions.
• You need clean teeth to wear them, so brush if need be. Yes, you have to.
• Gather up all the ingredients of the paste/cement/sticky stuff that came in the package and promptly throw it away. It's no good, it won't help, and it's a total waste. Throw it away!
• Find yourself some denture adhesive. If you don't have any on hand take a trip to your local pharmacy and buy a little tube.
• Fill the cavity (heh!) of the tooth with the denture adhesive until it's over flowing and stick it on your tooth. While holding the tooth in place and pressing firmly, use your other hand to wipe the excess gunk away. Hold the fang in place for at least two full minutes. If you can wait longer, do so.
• Repeat for the next tooth.

It's not advisable to eat, drink, or bite anyone with these teeth in. However, I've done all three and lived. You should be able to talk normally and the fangs should stay in place. Things like eating a hamburger, beat boxing, and getting punched in the face should all be avoided as they will make your fangs come out.

The down side to this method is that denture adhesive is gross. It's slimy and feels icky in your mouth. There will most likely be gobs stuck to your teeth when you take your fangs out. Just pull them off and brush your teeth again. These fangs can be tricky but in the end they do look pretty great.